Nature Can Bite Me (Not Literally, Please)
I was at work this morning, alone in the office and doing some paperwork before opening, when I caught a glimpse of two little black eyes peering at me from around the corner of a cardboard box. Mouse? I thought. After a moment there was movement, and I saw that it was not a mouse. For the briefest moment I thought RAT!, but instead it was… a chipmunk?
A chipmunk in a post office. Sounds like the basis for a children’s book.
I stood from my chair and he ran back into the rear of the office, hiding under some of the equipment, out of sight. I wasn’t sure exactly how to deal with this situation, so I opened the back door and started banging on the metal cages, and sliding a broom beneath anything with a gap.
I didn’t see the chipmunk leave, but I haven’t seen him again so far. I closed the door after a while as well, because it is too hot and sticky today to just let it inside.
What I did let inside however was a yellowjacket, approximately the size of a dirigible, with a stinger as long as three freight train cars. I knew exactly what to do with it, though. Condolences to its family may be sent in care of “Nope, None of That Fucking Terrifying Thing in Here With Me For Another Five Hours.”
Stay outside where you belong, nature.
Latest 3 posts
Older Posts I'd Like You to See